Postcard Fiction

By Nikki J

It’s the stubborn mind I inherited from my father that drives me to be so disobedient. Why go to school when I can sleep and do my work from home? I get it done just the same and I don’t have to listen to the boring lessons that teach me nothing about anything. Why should I be penalized if my attendance has gone down the drain, I still do the work and it is still pretty good I might add, honestly it’s the lack of inspiration this school gives me that makes me want to go. I know that my mother will find out and I know that she will ignore me for the rest of the day and yell at me to buck up, but I would choose that over having to sit alone at lunch and pretend I care about the life that surrounds me. Maybe I am just being nostalgic about my old school, but honestly I really do not give two rats about this dungeon we call a school. Graduation is inches from my nose and I can smell it. I know that I just need to keep going, to troop it out then ill be free. But will I really? Won’t work be just like school? Don’t I just need to learn how to deal with the stupid reality we call life. Yes. That’s what I have to do. 

So for my writing 12 class, my teacher has this dry humor that pisses me off and he takes joy in that. I literally won't attend his class fora week and I'm still in the high 90's. I honestly would have liked to learn something though, like technique or pattern or what I'm doing wrong. He's more of a realist and i really dislike realists. Here is what i wrote for his class, i haven't handed it in yet but its due today. He asked us to write about a book we really enjoyed and why. I am not sure if i will hand it in at all, i think its a little bit pretentious.


 

The main book I wanted to talk about is twilight, but what’s the point? It will probably just initiate a petty comment from my teacher about how twilight sucks. So instead, ill talk about a less important book to me, but it’s still pretty great. It’s called just deal with it. It’s full of facts about puberty and sex that I read when I was 13. Becoming a woman is a scary thing and most people don’t like to talk about it. Since so many people don’t talk about it, the opposite gender doesn’t quite understand what its like to walk around being stabbed in the uterus. AKA, period cramps, or the feeling of crying for the stupidest things. The thing that bothers me personally the most is the face of young boys seeing a tampon slip out of my purse. Their utter look of disgust disappoints me. “Would you like me not to wear one? I can leave a tail of blood behind me so it’s easier to find me. How would you like that?” Of coarse id never say this. Back to the concept of this book, It teaches girls how to deal with this, along with everything else we could be dealing with, including how to go about sex, because honestly how is a young girl to know exactly what oral sex is and how to go about it? Odds are it will happen sooner or later and it’s not like your going to ask your parents about it. Gross. Its not just the gross stuff that this book covers, its also eating disorders and what goes on in a girl’s brain as she changes. This could possibly be the most useful book I have ever experienced. Puberty is scary and embarrassing, and it was really nice not having to feel alone when this book told me everything that I needed to know and answered all of my worries. Not that you need to really know all this, but you asked what book was most meaningful and I decided that this would be a better answer than my inspiration to finish my first book…twilight.

Its funny how a girl your own age in any grade really can make you feel so insignificant. There's this girl, isn't there always? She shares my name. So every time in dance the teacher says, nicole you are doing a fantastic job! i think to myself, i am arnt i? i smile and say thanks, at the same time as the other girl of course. I think my teacher does this just to piss me off because she knows i go by Nikki yet she refuses to call me that. This other girl has been dancing her whole life but ive only been dancing 3 years. She is obviously much better than me. The only problem is she knows it. She ignores me. Its amazing how being ignored is worse than being yelled at. Its almost like reverse psychology. why does this effect me so much? because i am insecure and need to win her approval, duh. Wow being a teenager is messed up.

R.I.P Bella, you were such a sweet little rat :) Ill miss  you forever. 

The worst part of life is finding out life isn't all fluffy and fun like the hundred acre wood. Its full of disorders and sadness. 

This picture reminds me of the dead part inside me.

Did you know, it is possible for your uterus to fall out after you give birth? Yeah...That happens. Not completely out, just slips down. Gross. Can you imagine if that happened all the time. Picture a girl on a job outside and making a weird face..then reaching in her pants and pushing her uterus back into her body. Okay she's good.